Tactics!
by Chastity Gold
Summary: We all know that Johan attracts serial killers and that serial killers are attracted to Johan. But while one thinks he is in control, the other is riding his brain, and at other points vice-versa, while the rest of the world wonders just what the hell a 32 year old is doing with a teen. (Not intended to be yaoi, I am aiming for a thriller. Will be approx. 10 ch long)
1. Chapter 1

**This story was born form random text that my friend Rob and I were sending to each other, speaking of things Light would tell Johan and Johan would tell Light, so I want to give him a very special thanks!**

**I also want to apologize in advance because I mostly write yaoi and it might show in my sentences, but for this story I really am set in making it non-yaoi. However, there will be lots of bromance. Well let's get to it.**

**Timeline: Set in 2008 right after the capture of the Fake Kira. Johan had escaped the hospital in 1998, an no one had seen him since then, until now. **

"You can go outside you know," he had told me, crouched in his seat, eyes fixed on the laptop in front of him. It's been three days since we caught the "Fake Kira," three days since my lost memories have returned.

I shifted my weight to the other foot, and crossed my arms. That should have been enough. I was giving that _"I'm insulted" _look, without stepping over the _"this is L, and his words are absolute" _line."Do I bother you or something?" I stated, then switched my tactics, lowering my arms and playing with all the innocence in my voice, with all the cluelessness in my gestures, "Is something the matter? This is the third time you bring this up."

The room was colder than usual, or maybe it just felt that way. "Nothing Light, nothing is the matter." He didn't turn when he spoke, didn't lift his eyes off of his work. "I just assumed that you would have _wanted_ to be free," He spoke taking a deep breathe and letting it out all at once, sounding like a school teacher tired of repeating the same lesson over and over. He's dropping the friend act. The everyday routine, the newly caught Kira, the new pieces of the puzzle he is setting together, the calmness of my voice, everything must be getting to him."Don't mind me, I'm just a mess and you know it."

He knows he can't win. He knows that he lost.

He looked pathetic, half-dead/half-dazed, full dark circles under his eyes, and something else. Yes, I felt it, and I would have given so much to be able to ask him the question that itched in my tongue, that sent shivers of victory through my whole body: _Are you afraid? _Because I knew what the answer was, but it would be so much sweeter to hear him say it.

I threw all of that to the back of my brain though, they'll be time for that later. I kept the facade up, taking a step in his direction speaking softly. "You look tired. You should rest."

He closed his laptop then, more like slammed it shut, and rose to his feet, "You might be right, there's nothing left here anyways."

His words made me wince, something about them was so sour, so foul, though I'm sure he didn't notice. He was looking at the floor, toes curling, hands in the pocket of his jeans. "I'll see you around then," he murmured, taking slow, solid steps towards the door. "Apparently, unlike some people, I do enjoy the sun every once in a while."

"Going out?" I used my concerned voice this time, following his body with wide eyes as he passed by me.

"Ummm... I don't know, maybe."

"I think I might take your advice too," I added, following after him. "After all, we deserve a break, don't you think?"

He paused at the door, still not turning to see me, almost like avoidance, like he didn't _want_ to look at me, "Light, some people deserve nothing."

And that's how I ended up sitting in this grayish bench, in this park full of loud children and chipping birds. It's not like I planned coming here, It just happened. The sun is still up. It's not uncomfortably hot, but I opt for taking off my jacket and loosening the dark blue tie.

I breathe in the air of the world, relaxing against the bench, stretching my neck and arms up to the sky before closing my eyes to rest them. L is on the verge of falling, I can't wait to make him jump. Just a little more, I want to see him in this new found darkness just a little longer.

I can't believe I've done it so neatly, so perfect, without a careless flaw. Soon it will all be over, L will be dead and I will be that much closer to becoming the God of-

"Fascinating, isn't it?" A soft voice cuts through my thoughts, sheering me from the pleasure I had finally allowed myself to lavish on. I turn in the direction of the sender, partly annoyed, propping my self up on the bench, and find a man, by the looks of it, a bit older than me. He's dressed in black trousers and a black long sleeve shirt that contrasts his white skin. Not pale like L, not tired like everyone in the task force, _just right, _the way someone should look. He's headed in my direction through the side walk, each second bringing him closer, but not in a hurry. The way he walks catches attention, defined, as if every step he's taking is a mission. I involuntarily raise an eyebrow, and quickly lower it again when I catch myself, hoping no one noticed. He is blond, strands of gold in the wind. He must be a foreigner. "It's such a beautiful day outside."

I remain silent, not sure if he is talking to me or rambling on to someone else, himself, who knows, but then he stands directly in front of me and turns his eyes in my direction. They're a dark color of blue, definitely a foreigner. "Don't you think?"

There's something about his voice, _is he faking it? _It doesn't sound like the voice of a human. No human being can sound like that.

I realize I still haven't answered his question, and that in fact, it _was _directed at me. "It is nice," I answer smiling, the way I would answer to anyone else. Smiling has become part of a routine, like getting dressed every morning, like swallowing after chewing.

There's something about this man though, something that I can't quite put my finger on, but I can feel it.

He smiles back, sliping his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and my brain is immediately reminded of L... L... L... Lately, all I do is think of L nonstop. Of ways to kill him, to make him pay for everything he's done, for thinking he could stand against me.

After a silent pause he continues, "I will definitely not regret coming out this day." He nods in my direction, kind of a small bow. My eyebrows frown unintentionally.

"Do I know you?" I ask, hints of bewilderment in my voice, but still keeping a polite tone.

That smile is on his face once again as he answers, "No. I'm just passing by here."

He walks away in the same manner he walked here, slow, careful, with tactic, and I make a mental note to stop talking to decent-looking-strangers in the park, because apparently my body doesn't like them. They give it goosebumps.

The next day, I spend all day with the task force. L is still in his dark mood, research is still being done, Ryuk is back with Misa, and if I have to explain to him one more time why he can't follow me around, I swear I'll cut down his apple supply. On my way home I pass by the same park again, I don't know why, I just wanted to come. Not like I'm looking for him or something, not like he perked my interest. Perhaps its just that he's a random variable that came out of nowhere. Perhaps it's just that I'm tired of being in the same place, with the same people everyday, and seeing something so different has caught me by surprise.

I wait, but he never shows up.

The next day, the same thing.

And the day after that.

On the fourth day, I take what has already become a routine walk and sit in the same bench once again. Maybe he won't ever pass by, maybe I won't ever bump into him again, and maybe I should stop waisting my time sitting in this random park.

On a good note, I've come up with a plan to get rid of L once and for all. No matter what, he has to be killed, and it has to be soon. If I tell Misa to start writing names again, L will be put in a position where he'll have to do something drastic, and there's no way Rem will let him do anything to harm Misa. She'll be forced to kill L, extending Misa's life purposefully, and will die in the process. It's to perfect! Getting rid of both of them at the same time! And once they are gone, they'll be no one to stand in my way. It's only a matter of time. I have to decide when it's best to do it. I have to be careful, I can't make any mistakes now that I am this far-

Gold catches my sight, and I turn my eyes to the right. He's walking this time too, black trousers and a white shirt, but he's being followed.

Four children, boys and girls, and two older women are with him, I'm assuming the children's mothers or caregivers. He bends down to offer something to one of the kids. The child smiles opening his hand, and seconds later a bird drops into it.

_They're feeding the birds? Really? _Just how cliche can this get? I internally roll my eyes, but keep looking. He's smiling just like that day, throwing small dust up into the sky, for the birds that are now surrounding them to pick up mid flight. The two mothers sit at the nearest bench while the children surround him, asking for more bird food, laughing as they mimic him and the birds catch their food flying swiftly.

He looks at me, and I look away, suddenly feeling like I'm doing something wrong. And is it wrong? Could this be stalking? No. There's no way he could know I'm here just to see him! When I turn back he is walking towards me, and I curse myself for looking away because it made me look like a creep.

The way he walks, everything about him, he can't be real. His posture is just to perfect.

"Would you like to join us?" That soft voice again, offering a hand.

"Feeding the birds?" I reply, with a welcoming voice, never forgetting to smile. Smile, smile, always smile. No matter what the situation, smile, and you can fool even the devil.

"I noticed you've been watching us for a while. Come, it will be fun."

_For a while? So he's noticed me since the start? _That's embarrassing.

His dark blue eyes are digging straight into mine. Dark. Firm. Straight. Powerful. Even the way he extended his hand was with elegance. Looking at him is like looking at a whole other species, I've never seen anything like it. Up close I can tell that he is a bit older than what I originally thought, and I get that same feeling I got the first time I meet him. There's something about him, something crawling in the air that surrounds him.

My smile widens, can't lose anything with trying, "alright then. I'll go."

He helps me stand and I following after him.

The children are glad he's back, meeting us half way, wrapping their arms around his legs and waist. He encourages me to introduce myself, and so I do.

"My name is Light Yagami, nice to meet all of you." The children giggle, and one by one they all resite their name. Simple isn't it? Their little voices sound so funny in my brain. So careless, so trusting, each of them willingly giving me the tool to kill them if I want. I think of L, picture meeting him and introducing ourselves, of him giving me his life with a title. It would have all been too simple and boring that way.

When everyone is done, I turn to the foreigner. A clock inside of me had been internally ticking. Though I hadn't even noticed, I've been waiting to hear his name for a long time.

"As for me, my name is Johan... Johan Liebert."

_Johan..._

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Liebert."

"Please, call me Johan."

"Alright then." We shake hands, a little late, but that's ok, "Johan."

"The pleasure is all mine," He replies. "Now here," he hands me a portion of bird food. "And don't get dirty."

_Don't get dirty? _But before I can question why he emphasized such a simple task, he resumes throwing bits of food up to the sky, and the birds are back, flying steadily around us. Some trust him enough to land in his hand, and feed off of it.

I decide to utilize my food too, opening my hand, and not even a minute later one of the birds is attacking it. The tip of his beak pokes against my skin, and even though I wince, I laugh instead of showing discomfort, because after all, that's just the way I am.

"The act of their little beaks poking into us is strange, isn't it?" I look in his direction, the bird in my hand still eating away. "It hurts, but not enough to make you want to scare the little bird away... because the sight of it is so pretty, you don't want it to end." The bird in his hand flies up, and he stares at it with grief as it makes it's way back into the deep park and away from us. His eyes are sparkling when he turns to me, face tinted with a bit of sorrow, like he's gotten sad for some reason, "much like this world, don't you think?" I pay close attention, "If you look at some parts, it's disgusting, but there are still beautiful things in it. Beautiful things worth fighting for to be able to preserve: the innocence of a child, the right for an animal to have a meal, the idea of equality for all. The premise is set, we just have to be brave enough to make it happen, to not allow this world to get even more rotten."

I stare at him with wide eyes, he resumes his previous activity, throwing food into the air. There are so many things I want to say, so many things I could answer, but can't bring myself to say any of them. I go for the safe route instead, to help me learn something about him, "You believe this world is rotten?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he apologizes.

"You didn't, It's just that..." _think three or four times before speaking, _"that isn't something that I hear everyday." I let a few seconds pass by, the bird in my hand still poking into me. "You are right, some parts of this world are rotten, and those are the parts we have to do our best to change. Just like you said, there are many beautiful things in this world. All of us together have to fight to preserve them, to make this world a better place. It can be done."

He smiles, "you talk with such determination, making me believe that it is such a simple task to perform. I like you, Light. This world would do good in having more people like you."

I act shyly, "Please, don't say those things. It should be common sense for us to want to see our world get better."

"Yet there are so many out there that insist on making it worse," His face is sadden again, "I'll never understand why."

_This is why I am doing it! This is exactly why I am utilizing the notebook! This world needs me!_

"There's no more Mr. Liebert," states a child.

"There's no more," says another, and our conversation is cut short.

It's like he tosses what we were talking about to the wind, sad expression and everything, and lowers down to the height of the children with a smile as he speaks, "Well then, we'll have to do it again some other day."

The children say their good-byes and go back to their mothers. They thank Johan, and turn to leave soon after.

We are left alone, standing awkwardly in the side walk, even the birds dispersed. It feels like I should go now, but I don't want to leave. I want to talk to him a little longer. In an attempt to kill the silence I ask, "Are they your family?"

He walks toward one of the benches, playfully kicking at small rocks on the way, I subconsciously follow. "Oh, no," I had thought his voice was faked when we first met, but I guess this is the way he always sounds. Must be gifted vocal cords. "They are just children I met here, like you."

I flinch, the idea of someone calling _me_ a child pulling at the core of my pride, "I'm not a child. I'm eighteen." He smiles as he gestures for me to sit and I do, but he doesn't sit with me. He stands, hands behind his back, tilting his head to the side as if ready to listen to a story. "Besides, you don't look a day older than twenty-four."

He gives a small chuckle, so I fix my statement, "Twenty-two?... Twenty-five?... There's no way you can be older than twenty-five."

"I am actually thirty-two."

"What?!" that answer really shocks me, "Are you really?"

"Yes. Why is this so shocking to you?"

"Well, it's because you look very young for thirty-two. You must have some good genes."

He takes a few steps to the left and then to the right, then stands still again and looks back at me, waiting for me to continue. There are so many things I want to ask, why do I feel this way. I don't remember ever wanting to get to know someone as much as right now... Only L... "You're not from here are you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well you don't look Japanese, and you have a slight accent."

He's a little embarrassed, "I've never been told I had an accent before."

"It doesn't sound much, you can barely catch it, but it's there."

"I was born in Prague, but have been living in Paris for the last few years."

_He's a traveler, interesting. _

"Paris? So what are you doing so far away from home?"

He looks off into the distance as if searching for something, the dim light of the setting sun hitting his cheeks, "I'm actually here looking for someone."

I sit up on the bench. Finally, here's something I can cling to, to insure I talk to him again instead of endlessly wondering a park for no reason, "I see, and you're having trouble finding this person?"

"He or she is hard to find, but I get the feeling I will soon."

"He or she? So you don't even know if this person is male or female?" I was going to say "a boy or a girl," but since he is clearly older, and even called me a child earlier, I didn't want to use those terms. "If you have the address or a phone number, I could help you look."

"I don't think he or she is someone that could be reached by any one of those means."

_So what are you looking for? A ghost? _

"Well, if you need help with anything, I'm here. Just let me know."

"Thank you, Light... You know, there is something that you _could _help me with. I've been in this city for a while and don't really have anyone to talk to. If you're free sometime, we should go have a meal together and talk."

I did it! "That works for me, I actually don't have many people to talk to either. You should give me your number."

"Sure."

We exchanged numbers and he encourages to meet again soon. It is getting dark and my family must be wondering where I am, not to mention L, so I say good-bye, but he insists on walking me to the bus station.

Johan Liebert... What's the worst that can happen? I have his name.

If all else fails, I'll just use the Death Note.

**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 1:**

"I am heading out," I turn off the computer and set the headphones on the side.

"Already? But it's barely seven thirty," Father questions, mustache precisely fixed, face neatly shaved. He looks ten years younger than he did just a few weeks ago.

L on the other hand looks dreadful, the bones on his neck and shoulders protruding, the dark circles around his eyes sunken. He's still avoiding me, still ignoring my attempts to get close to him. Even now, as I announce I'm leaving, he does nothing more than sip on his coffee and set it down again as if no one has spoken at all.

"Yeah, dad. I have something to do, I'll be back later." I turn to L, as if noticing him for the first time too, "see you later, Ryuzaki."

He waves me off with a hand, doesn't even give me the decency of his words. I wave back at him as if nothing's wrong, as if his lack of care isn't the biggest slap on the face. This is why I can't stand him. He thinks he's better than everyone else, he thinks he's above, he thinks he's right no matter what, and no matter what I know he still suspects me and that isn't going to go away.

I guess it does hurt a little, in my pride more than anything. After all, I'm used to people wanting to be around me, not giving me the cold shoulder. Was he always like this? No, before I got my memories, even if it was only an act, he regarded me as a friend. So this must mean that he suspects that there was some sort of change since Higuchi's death. But how much does he know? I don't believe what he knows is much to his advantage, I can see that by his physical appearance, unless that's what he wants me to believe. Should I give the order to Misa already, or should I wait a little longer, just to see what he knows?

I have to do it now. If he finds some way to trace everything back at me-

But he can't. There's nothing. So what am I wanting for?

First things first, I have to go see him.

**Part 2:**

He's already waiting for me, like always. He's never been late, has never been too early either, makes me wonder about his work, his personal life. Doesn't he have other things to do? But I can't just intrude into his life like that, at least not yet.

"Have you been waiting long?" I ask, pulling the chair out and taking a seat.

He is wearing white, a brown jacket placed behind him in the chair, "Just got here, don't worry." The sound of his voice like always is refreshment to my ears, being with him is different. "How was your day?"

I like that he asks me that. When he does, he tilts his head to the side, somehow gets closer, smiles, makes me feel as if he really wants to know. He's not just asking as part of a routine, not as a way to start conversation, he's asking because he really wants to know how my day was. I can't remember the last person that actually cared that weren't my parents.

"Long day at work, but mostly okay, yours?"

He looks at me as if I've just lied to his face, his voice a bit sturdy. That's what makes him such a mistery. I know very well that he isn't in my- or for that matter- in L's category, that would be impossible, but he sees things common people wouldn't catch. "Light, I asked you "how was your day?" Why won't you tell me?"

"Why do you want me to bore you with details?"

"Because I want to get to know you, yet you always avoid me throwing pointless conversations. Sometimes I wonder if it's even possible for me to win your trust."

I chuckle, more for show than anything, "You have my trust, I am here with you. Why would you think otherwise?"

He settles his voice, back to the calmness of the peaceful night sky, "Fine. It is naive to think that I deserve something I haven't offered first."

"What do you mean?" My pores open, blood rushes to my head. One hundred and one questions, all for which there are no answers. Is he insulted? Will he not want to see me again?

"I'll tell you the real reason why I came to Japan. I will trust you with the biggest of my secrets. Maybe like that, you'll be able to trust me with at least the slightest part of yours."

Every neuron in my brain tickles at the nerve endings, cells spasming and constricting, energy rushing within me, I've wanted to hear this for so long. "Tell me," I all but beg, and it is embarrassingly noted in my voice.

"It isn't something we should discuss over dinner. After this we should go for a walk."

"Yeah, of course. Whatever is best for you." The waiter comes over and I get ready for the longest meal of my life.

We usually sit for hours, talking about the simplest things. He usually talks about Germany and Paris, I talk about Japan and it's culture. Very rarely he would wonder into religion and politics, and when he did, I slowly diverted him somewhere else. I had to be careful in everything I spoke. After all, a few weeks ago he was still a stranger, and no matter how welcome he makes me feel or how relaxing it is to be with him, I still have to protect myself more than anything.

Today however, I dig into my food as soon as it is served, being careful not to look rushed, but answering his questions with only the necessary. I don't't want to prolong the conversations, for my only mission is to chew, chew, chew, to be able to get out of here and listen to what is really interesting. Johan has been a mistery since I first meet him, something I've wanted to reach, and the only thing standing between him and me tonight is the plate full of food I am shoving down my throat.

He is the same as always, nothing out of place. His tone of voice remains peaceful, his maneuver a river of tranquility. I kind of envy that. How does he manage it anyway? No person can be like this all the time, everybody snaps. Unless he's like me, and this is all-

_This is all an act! _L got me! How could I not have seen it? What was I thinking?

I finish before him, but he doesn't make me wait any longer. I tell him not to worry, to take his time, but for a moment he looks just as anxious as me to get out of here. Could it be? Would L go as low as to prey on my most notable deficiency: my lack of companion? He would know it couldn't be just anyone, he would know it had to be someone who caught my attention, someone like him. We grab our jackets from the chairs, he leaves money on the table, he's never once let me pay, I don't fight him over it anymore.

He slips his jacket on like anything else, smoothly. Absentmindedly, mine gets twisted in the back. I pull at it, trying and failing to fix it as we walk towards the door. If Johan has noticed he makes a point to ignore it. Outside, I take the jacket off completely. I smile because I don't want to curse. He turns to me and makes a sound. It's a sound I've never heard before, first low and then a little louder, it isn't until I stop rustling with the jacket that I notice he is laughing. He is laughing! This is the first time I have ever hear him laugh. He has smiled before, but never this, and I stared at him as he takes the jacket from my hands, fixes it, and slips it back into my arms. He goes as far as fixing the collar for me, all while still laughing quietly.

"Don't be in such a hurry, Light. We'll get there."

Aizawa passes by behind him, and _what?!_

Aizawa passes by behind him. He is with his wife and daughter, and I freeze for a moment because I don't know how him seeing Johan could affect anything.

He first doesn't notice me, or that's how it appears, but once he sees me he deviates his way to talk to me. "Hey, Light. So you left early too," He looks at Johan, who is now standing by my side. The laugh I had finally conquered after such hard work gone, transformed to his all day long welcoming smile.

"Yeah, I'm with a friend," I motion towards Johan, who stretches his hand to Aizawa.

"Johan Liebet, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," Aizawa answers, and it all hits me. Is Aizawa here to check on the progress? Did L really put Johan up to this? I don't want to think that, but if he did... If he did, I've been acting like an idiot!

Johan goes on to shake the hands of Aizawas' wife and his daughter, all while I internally hate myself and plot Johan and L's death. I will kill them both, I will kill them _together._ I will line them up against the wall and make them do all sorts of things before I kill them. That's what they deserve.

"Wow, Light, who would have thought you actually have a life outside of work," Aizawa jokes.

"Well, we all do," I smile back. Back stabbing son of a-

"See you at work tomorrow then," he gives a small bow, "Johan," and another bow, and enters the restaurant with his family.

"A friend of yours?" Johan asks.

"Yeah, kind of." I walk away, towards the next bus station.

"Kind of?" He follows, giving another one of his looks, the ones that say you're lying. You're the only liar here, you- "Come to think of it, you've never talked to me about your friends."

"You've never asked," I answer flatly.

"I just did right now, and you denied him."

"I don't consider Aizawa my friend, he is my colleague."

"So who do you consider your friend?"

I play along, I'll make him think I'm the idiot, "You, Johan. You're the only person right now I could call a friend," _maybe L is listening,_ "and maybe one more."

"That makes me happy," he smiles. "Are you ready? Do you still want to go?"

"Yeah, but if you don't mind, can we go somewhere of my choosing?"

"Whatever you want is fine with me, Light."

Now this is more like it, I like when he has this attitude. I'll find out for sure today, just who the hell this guy is.

**Part 3:**

I take him to an abandoned building, in a neighborhood that is mostly deserted where I am sure no city cameras have been placed. This will give me a slight advantage, the only way of seeing or hearing us will be anything he is bugged with, there's nothing else L can hack.

"Why did you bring me here? This place, it gets me sad."

"I just want to be sure no one will disturb us," I wonder the rooms of the old building to make sure we are alone, and wait for a few minutes to ensure we weren't followed.

"Is something bothering you?" He asks, following behind me as I look around. "You're not being your usual self."

_What would you know about my usual self? _I want to ask him, but I hold my tongue. Patience is a virtue, and if he really is working with L, I'll be able to say all that and more when I catch them red handed. "You might be right, Johan. This place is kind of sad."

"I'm the product of an experiment," I turn around because that did not sound like him at all. It sounded like an alien, like a robot. I prepare my eyes to meet someone else in the building, the one that just spoke, but there is no one else around. It _was_ him, eyes straight on me, hands in his pockets, body the exact same as every other time I've seen him, but with something else.

I take a step back, I don't know what makes me do it, but I do. The glowing light that radiated from him with every word, with every smile, seems to get swallowed by a darkness that leaves in its path deep despair. I feel like, in this abandoned building, I am not with Johan, but with something else, something dark.

"What did you say?" I sound calm, way more steady than I feel, and I internally praise myself.

"What is the one thing that humanity has always wanted, but has never achieved?" He asks walking towards a window. Many things come to mind, but I keep quiet, this isn't a pop quiz, I need to hear these answers from him. "Perfection." He states, looking out into the night sky, eyes glittering with the stars. "I am the result of an experiment that took place in Germany, looking to create the perfect human race."

I walk towards him, "Johan, what are talking about?"

"I was taken from my mother's arms and studied like a lab rat. Time and time again, fixed to complete the dreams of others. They turned me into a monster." His voice changed when he spoke next, the most hurt I've ever heard him, "I lost my sister, the only one I had. The one thing that was still a clean part of me."

An unexplained feeling of uneasiness takes over me, but I do nothing about it. _An experiment? To create the perfect human race? What is this? Who is this man? _I look for the exits, make sure I have a way to get away fast if I had to. There's a pipe not to far away, I could swing that at his head, the street isn't too far after that.

"I can't understand what you're trying to say Johan, but I want to help you. Please," I reached out for him, "tell me everything that happened. From the beginning, so I can understand."

We talk for hours, he tells me everything, from the way his parents met, to when he escaped Germany. I try to find flaws, any tiny shake on his words or actions that could indicate a lie, but there is none. If L planned this, and L put him up to it, there's no surprise I can't find a mistake, just one question remains. _Why is he telling me all this? What is the goal? _

"You might wonder why I am telling you all this?" He asks, as if straight out of my mind. "I told you I would tell you the reason why I came to Japan, and everything I just told you is in the hope you won't judge me harshly when you hear the truth."

I remain silent, in moments like these it is way better to listen that to speak, don't want to make a mistake. L can use anything against me.

"You're so young Light, so pure. I wish you were older or maybe that I was younger. I would've loved to have someone like you throughout my life. Maybe things could have been different. After I tell you, you most likely won't want to see me again, since I think I have a pretty good idea of how you see life. I am prepared to accept that. Just know that being with you made me feel alive and... at peace. I really enjoyed our time together." He smiles, "Oh, how I wish you were older."

"Tell me," it escapes my teeth, the foul taste of urgency, and if anyone questions me about it later, i'll just say I was nervous.

He looks me straight in the eyes, hesitates for a moment, then blurs it out all at once, "I'm here looking for Kira."

My eyebrows frown, somehow that wasn't what I expected. _Kira?! _"Kira?!" I question.

"I've noticed the way you think. You must conclude that Kira is a murderer, but if you just let me explain-"

"He is a murderer!" _What the hell are you doing L, putting me in this situation? Another one of your tests? But watch how it backfires on you! _"I can't even... I'm sorry, I have to go."

I turn to leave, but he gently reaches for me and tuns me to face him, just like I knew he would. "Light, I need justice for all the people that hurt my sister, that hurt my mother, that destroyed our lives. Please try to understand."

"If you think Kira is justice you are wrong. Kira is a murderer, who needs to be stopped. If you're looking for him as your salvation, as if he's some sort of god then I'm sorry, but I can't agree with you. It is that sort of attitude that is making him what he is now, and it is that soft of attitude that I am working so hard to eradicate."

"I knew you would react this way, and please believe me, I never wanted to scare you. My only intention was to come clean to you, to hide nothing from you, because you are the only thing I have, Light."

"I don't know."

We stand there not doing much about it, almost ignoring each other's presence until I finally speak, "Well, it's really late. I have to go home."

"Will I see you again?"

"I'll call you."

He didn't say anything after that, just walked me to the bus station and sent me home.

**Part 4: (L)**

"Could it be possible that your son is interested in men?"

"What did you just say?!" Mr Yagami yells behind me, as I turn all available monitors to the image of the blond-haired-man paying for Light's bus ticket and seeing him off.

"How can you say something like that, Ryuzaki? Even for you-" Matsuda adds with an insulted tone.

"I've put up with many things, but don't you dare question my son's integrity!"

"I just asked if it could be possible that he is interested in men. What does that have anything to do with integrity?"

"My son has a girlfriend-"

"Who he always ignores. Yet he's spent every single available hour, even cut down on his time here, to be with this man." I spin my chair around a few times, then land facing him, "You have no idea who he is, do you?"

"No, I've never seen him before," Mr. Yagami agrees looking concerned. I don't blame him.

"Your son met him in a park not to long ago, they've been dating ever since."

"Dating?!"

"Call it what you want. "Hanging out" lets say. They've been going out to eat, going to the movies... It sounds like dating to me." I turn back to the screen, "Johan Liebert, born in Prague, thirty-two years old. Lived in Germany until 1998, ever since, he's been in Morocco, Paris, England, Spain. Very well off with one of his bank accounts topping three-hundred million dollars." I whistle, they stare mouths open. "He was born to a middle class family, his fortune came later investing in banks and other businesses. No marriage, which strikes me as odd given his social status, no children. Very well mannered, very smart, very good looking. The perfect catch don't you think?"

"Be serious, Ryuzaki."

"Oh, I am serious. Everything that I found on him was easy to come across, and I've tried digging deeper but there's nothing else. Nothing at all, just a normal person as far as the eyes can see. But..." On a few monitors I hack the cameras on the bus Light is taking, on the others I follow Johan as he makes his way down the dark streets. "But nothing in this sequence of events makes sense. What could he possibly want form an eighteen year old boy?"

"They must be just friends."

"I'm sorry to say this, but your fatherly instincts are blinding you to the obvious. Why would a thirty-two year old millionaire want to be friends with a middle class eighteen year old? From all the possibilities that come to mind, dating is the least of my worries. The one that makes sense, and is the least dangerous."

"Least dangerous?! You're saying that this man being after my son for ulterior motives is the least dangerous?!"

"Mr. Yagami, if Light doesn't want to keep going, he can just say no. On the other hand..."

"On the other hand, what?"

"If this has something to do with Kira, which I suspect it does, then having all this money and all this power could really be dangerous."

"You're still going on about that? How many ways do we have to prove to you that Light is innocent?"

"He isn't imprisoned, he isn't being denied any rights, but I have the right to suspect whoever I want for as long as I want, and do whatever I feel necessary to solve this case. Also, if this has something to do with Kira, I didn't mean the least dangerous for Light." I run my thumb against my mouth, pinch the bottom lip and end up chewing on it. I'm getting old, I'm getting tired, and this is getting worse. "I meant the least dangerous for all of us."

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 1**

The light of the sun is disappearing behind the windows. The sounds of the keyboard Ryuzaki is typing into are making my head hurt, have they always been this loud? I don't think I've ever noticed them before.

"What is it, Light?" He asks, stopping his work and turning to me with wide-dark pupils. _You're liar, a dirty liar _I want to tell him, _but I'll catch you in the act._ He looks stupid, playing the innocent, sitting there like an idiot who doesn't know a thing. Everything about him is dirty, old, and some parts even gross. I don't even want to look at him, but there is still that name he has. That title he earned by burning down everyone's defenses or maneuvering his way around them, the thing he earned by being a manipulator and going as low as messing with a person's emotions. That title itself is the only worthy thing this man has, the rest of him is pitiable.

I remember when I'd get nervous around him, when he would make my heart race and my pores open with just his presence, with just a word. Now he's only the shadow of what he used to be, tired and mostly defeated. In times like these a part of me wants to keep him around, convince him of my innocence, make him give up on his futile quest. Make sure he moves to a far away place and exchange phone numbers for the occasional coffee and tennis game. Guess it's that tiny part of me that hasn't ordered Misa to start killing again. And then there's Johan, it's been six days since I last talked to him.

"I just have this nasty headache," I shut the computer off and pull away from the desk.

"Leaving already?" With that same 'I-know-nothing' tone he always tries to use. It didn't work the first one thousand times, it won't work now.

"Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow." I get up and stretch, pushing up on my toes. Sitting down for so long is tiring, my lower back is killing me.

"Light..."

I stretch my head from side to side, my neck, my head, my back, everything hurts. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Are you hungry? Want to go get something to eat?"

My mind goes blank, this is something I hadn't been expecting. If anything, he's been avoiding me these last few weeks. I have to think of something fast. What could be the best thing to do? Decisions like these shouldn't be made in a second, but then my phone rings and I'm off the hook, at least for now. It's things like these that make me believe the entire Universe really is on my side.

"Hold on," I hold up a finger and pull the phone out of my pocket. The screen reads Misa A, so without a second thought I hit ignore.

"Who was it?" His voice is soft and alluring. He's trying to pull me in just like he did before, with his words, with his mind tricks. Back then I had no memory of who I was. All I wanted was for him to believe me, a chance to prove myself to him, but I don't need any of that anymore.

There's this feeling of emptiness in my stomach and sudden chills in my spine. The feeling crawls up into my chest leaving it vacant of anything that isn't anxiety. It continues up my throat, and I have to fight it off to be able to answer his question, "Just Misa, she calls me all the time." I wonder if he noticed, but who am I kidding? I know he did, he always does. I need to be more careful. More than anything, I need to stop thinking about those kinds of things.

The relationship that L and I had back then was different. I know that at least in my part, I always tried to be true to him, even if it was only because I had given up my memories. However, he lied to me all along, he never saw me as anything that wasn't Kira. No matter how hard I tried to get close to him he never once gave me a chance, but in a way I'm glad for that. It makes killing him easier. It would have been a real tragedy if in the end I would've been forced to kill my only friend.

"You're planning on seeing her today?" He asks taking a sip of his coffee, making a face, and deciding to add a few more sugar cubes.

"Probably not," I put the phone back in my pocket. That's enough thinking about the past, I have to concentrate in the now.

"Then, do you want to go?"

I consider the possibilities, maybe I should, but maybe... I sigh, "I would love to go Ryuzaki, I really would, but I'm tired and-"

"Tired of the game?" He interrupts turning back to his computer. "Don't worry, I think I am too."

I roll my eyes, this is so old, "What game are you talking about?" My voice is just a little too loud, but I don't even regret it.

"You know exactly what game I'm talking about," he stares back at me with that very serious expression, the one he has when he saves a life or orders an execution, and I see it now, at least in his eyes. The spark of fury, the thing that is stopping me from reaching the glory. L is still alive, and I can't allow it to continue.

"I don't. I really don't understand half the things you say most of the time. So like always, I'll just ignore it," I walk towards the door. I _do_ know exactly what he's saying. The pretend friendship, the smiles, the words, everything between him and I has been fake from the beginning, a game to see who cracks first, and he's cracking. He's cracking so horribly beautiful. I just have to be sure to stay in one piece.

"Have a good night, Light."

I turn around and see the little thing, the bothersome fly on my food that keeps getting in the way, the decay of flesh that I once admired as the world's greatest detective. He really is nothing at all, not anymore. "Goodnight, L."

**PART 2:**

On my way home I pop open my phone. Today I only have eleven missed calls from Misa, she must have been busy. I go to his number and stare at it, _but what can I do? _How can I catch him in the act? I should set a trap, but what if he really has nothing to do with L? But he must... I want to talk to him. Regardless, I want to talk to him again. I don't have any one else to talk to... I shut the phone. What am I thinking? I've never needed anyone and I sure as hell don't need someone now that I am above humanity itself.

I pass by the same park, the one where I met him, but he's no where around. Of course not, I practically told him to stay away.

"Ugh!" I take my phone out again. It's better to find out already, to just catch him now. I dial his number and hold my breathe. It doesn't take him long to answer, and for a moment I question if I did the right thing.

"Light?"

"Yeah," I smile into the speaker. A nervous laugher, but disguised as a sign of happiness, "it's me."

"I'm so glad you called, for a moment I thought you really wouldn't," he sounds relieved, which makes me feel as if I have the upper hand. I try to pick up other sounds, any signals that could prove that he is a fraud just like L- just like everybody else- but there is nothing. "Can I see you?"

"Tomorrow at eight, lets have dinner." If L really is behind this, that should give him enough time to formulate a plan, and that's when I'll catch them.

"That sounds great, where do you want us to meet?"

"I'll call you tomorrow, to see what we feel like having." And now something corny, "I've missed talking to you." That should do the trick.

"It's been lonely without you."

I want to be happy he said that. I want to believe he is real. Without knowing about it I smirk, and feel endlessly stupid for it. "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Light. Have a good night."

"You have a good night too."

**PART 3:**

Seeing him again isn't like seeing him before. The most prominent thing on my mind as he goes on about how much he's missed seeing me is _I am going to kill you, I am going to get you, you will regret this, _and when he notices I am not entirely paying attention, his eyes do this thing that makes my chest hurt.

I believe he is disappointed with our meeting. If he is working for L, then he must be because he isn't getting a single thing out of me, he knows I don't trust him. And if he has nothing to do with L, then I really don't know what he's thinking. Either way it's time for the truth.

"Let's go talk somewhere else."

He pays for the meal leaving an incredibly huge tip and once again we are walking through the streets on our way to a remote destination.

I have to be very careful, but my plan should work. If I'm questioned later, I can say he did everything willingly and all I wanted was to be sure I wasn't being lied to. After all, no one likes being full of doubts. Especially from someone who is supposed to be close to you.

I take him to a hotel room. He gives me a look, but doesn't say much more as he follows me inside. This place was chosen completely arbitrary, so there is no way that L can have any direct connections in here, no way to see exactly what is happening.

I lock the door and make sure that the curtains are full closed, then get ready for what is coming. I take a deep breath. If I really want this to work and to look the least bit suspicious, I have to do it right. So I'll just flat out ask.

"Johan," his name is the first word either of us has spoken since we left the restaurant.

"Yes, Light?" I look at him and the situation kind of hits me for the first time. There is a bed behind him, and we are both locked in a hotel room. I want to laugh but don't find the strength to. So many people would interpret this wrong, and that is perfect. If anybody asks me, _Light, why did you take him to a hotel room? Why did you corner him like that? _I'll just say...

"Take off your clothes."

I sound completely dominant, absolutely no doubt on my mind. He on the other hand is petrified, eyes shocked open and frozen face.

He blinks away the words, "What?"

"You heard me," I take a step forward and then another, until I am standing at arms reach. "Take your clothes off."

He stares at me as if trying to read me. There's a sudden spark in his eyes. I think I see what maybe could have formed into a smile, but it goes away before I catch it completely. "If that is what you want."

He takes off his coat and places it on the bed. Then he starts at the buttons of his shirt. I stare carefully, thoroughly, looking for any wires and chips, any type of devices that could have been placed by _him. _

The shirt falls to the floor, there's nothing yet.

He unbuttons his pants and lowers the zipper. I keep looking as they also fall, revealing that nothing was hidden there, but we are still not done.

He stops and stares at me as if saying, _what now? _To which I reply, "_all_ of your clothes."

The air around the room has gotten thicker. It's hard to breathe under stress, I figured that out a long time ago. He looks at me straight in the eyes as he reaches for the hem of his boxers but doesn't complain, doesn't tell me to stop, which is perfect. If he is working for L, and L questions me later on this, he'll have nothing to go on. _Johan never voiced he didn't want to do anything. Was I supposed to read his mind?_ As fucked up as it sounds that's the way the law is. As long as you find the loop hole, you are free to do whatever you want. That isn't justice, and that's exactly the reason why I must prevail.

The boxers fall to his ankles and he steps out of them.

He is naked in front of me, absolutely nothing to cover him, and it appears that he has nothing to hide. No microphones, no wires. A spark of hope is born in my brain, but there's still one more thing. I can't leave anything to chance, so I have to be precise.

"Squat down," I am not asking, it is an order. His eyebrows frown and for the first time he looks like he might have a problem. He tries to ask something, but I cut him off with a hand to his hair. I play with the stands between my fingers. _Steady, steady, everything is going so well, don't make things worse. _"Squat down please," I repeat, this time in a nicer tone, fingers touching his cheek lightly.

He doesn't talk back. He lowers himself down until he is squatting in front of me. I squat down too.

"Now cough."

His face changes from worried to a sign of relief, as if he finally gets what is happening. I don't know if I should be relieved or worried. He coughs once, and then louder, and then one more time.

There is nothing.

"Do you want me to keep going?" He asks with a smile, his usual self is back which kind of makes me smile too.

I pick up his clothes from the floor and go through them. I check the pockets, the sides, I flip them inside out. Then I check his coat. I go back to him and look into his ears, his nose. I tell him to open his mouth and when he does, he sticks out his tongue and crosses his eyes.

That makes me laugh out loud.

"I'm trying to be serious here, Johan."

"I know. That is precisely why I am trying to make you smile, your Divine Grace."

I stop with his words, "What did you just call me?"

He slowly stands back up. I am so threatened that I kind of want to yell at him to get back down. "You did all of this because you are going to reveal to me that you are Kira, Correct?" I shake my head ready to deny it all the way to the grave, but he stops me. "There's no need for you to keep hiding. I've been looking for you all of this time."

I was... I really was going to tell him if he could prove he wasn't involved with L, but suddenly I don't want to. I want to deny everything, I want to run away.

He gets on his knees, "Your Grace please do not feel threatened. I have traveled from far away to serve you. I know that you were put in this world for a reason. I want to aid you in your cause. Please, use me as you see fit. My life is yours."

"You need to get up. I am not Kira," is the only thing I can say. It's my automatic defense mechanism. I am so used to saying those words over and over to L.

"Light, do you really thing I just bumped into you at the park that day for no reason? That I went up to you just because? I have been watching you. I've used my influences to find out everything that I could about you. I knew you had to be in the Kanto region of Japan, that you had to be someone that had access to police information, and that you had to be a student. When the other Kira emerged, I knew it couldn't be you. Your reasons for punishing where as different as black and white. When he got caught I knew that you would resuscitate from the ashes, so I showed myself to you."

I am completely shocked, just who the hell is this guy? He has no tracking devices, no microphones. There's no way this room is bugged, I am sure of it. There is nothing in his record that shines with a red flag, so who the hell is he?

I want to run but I am frozen solid.

I reach into the pocket of my jeans and grasp the piece of the note book I always carry with me. It calms me down to know I have what it takes to get rid of him if I must.

"You're wondering how I found you," he continues. "Money can be very helpful when it comes to these things. Sadly, mostly everybody has a price. Honestly, I just took a wild guess and hit the jack pot. Take into consideration that I am not L, I don't need evidence to confirm you are Kira. I just feel it in my heart. That's why I am here."

"But I am not Kira," I mumble so low that even I don't believe myself.

He gets up reaching for my hand, "You are Kira, and I am devoted to you for it." I am still shaking my head. "I will prove my worth to you."

"Let go of me."

"Light, stop it. Don't fight me... not me." He takes me in his arms, something I didn't expect. He holds me to him as I shake for some reason. _Could I be scared?_ "You don't have to be afraid, I am here for you. From now on you are not alone, you have me. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. Tell me how to prove myself and I'll do it."

"What do you want in return?" If they ask me later, I can just say I was trying to get information from this psycho. I'll deny everything 'till the end.

"What I want?" He repeats as if the question is silly, "I want to serve you and be near you. I want to be a part of your world. That is all."

"But why?"

It takes him a moment but he finally answers, his hands still soft around me, "because I've seen you erased from this world some of the worse vermin that have ever set foot in it. Because I know you have what it takes to make a better world. Because I see you and I want to help you. Because I know that you don't want me to leave either. Because you need someone Light, you can't do everything on your own, it'll drive you mad." I lean into his neck, and as twisted as it seems, I feel safe. There's something about this man that changes everything about me. "Let me take all of that away from you. From now on I will carry your burdens, so don't worry anymore. Everything will be okay."

**Part 4:**

I wake up with a headache, and no matter how I look at it, there's no way I'll make it to headquarters on time. Not surprisingly, my father is also still home. As I come down the stairs- on my way to hopefully the largest cup of coffee I've ever had- I rub my eyes and get ready for the questionnaire. I'm not even surprised by it.

"You came home really late last night." He is preparing coffee too, two spoons of sugar, two of creamer. He looks as if, just like me, he only got a few hours of sleep. Not fully rested, but no where as bad as a few weeks ago. At least he is well shaved, but there is a hint of uncertainty on his face. I'm sure L must have something to do with it. I wonder what they've been talking about while I am not there. I shouldn't spend that much time outside of headquarters. Now that everything is settled with Johan, things should go in the right direction fast.

I can't say I trust him one-hundred percent, but he's allowed me to wire him with microphones and a chip to know exactly where he is and who he is talking to at all times. He bought everything himself, and we didn't leave the hotel room until I was sure there was no way he could contact L without me finding out about it.

Just as a precaution anyways, I ordered Misa to write his death description on the notebook. If anything happens, all I have to do is signal for her to write his name in and he'll die in an accident, leaving no trace behind that could link him to me.

"Yeah, I was out with a friend," I answer him, reaching for a cup in the cupboard and a spoon from the silverware tray. I thought about it all night, and the best course of action is to just say the truth. Most likely L knows where I was anyway. "Took longer than I expected. I didn't mean to worry you."

He stirs his coffee, looking into it with deep dark eyes. I grab the coffee pot and pour. I know he wants to keep asking questions, so it's better if I ask first, "what is it dad? Did something happen?

He looks up at me, and as much as I know I am superior, I still feel small compared to his persona. He is also still taller than me, which doesn't aid in the cause. "Light, you would never hide anything important from me, would you?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"You've been meeting up with a man... A much older man."

"Oh..." I laugh it out. "You're talking about Johan. Yes, as a matter of fact I was with him last night." If I hide anything it will make me looks suspicious. _Why would I hide a friend? _I put the coffee pot back in the coffee maker and head for the sugar.

"What were you two doing?"

"Talking. You know, I like his company. He makes for very good conversation."

"So you stayed out with him until three in the morning?"

I give him a look, because that's what he expects me to do. "Dad, what are you thinking?" He doesn't say anything, so that's enough answer, "don't tell me that... Dad, what? No!" I act infuriated because that's what I'm supposed to be. "Did you not hear the part where his name is Johan, so he is obviously a _man._"

"I know, but your behavior-"

"What behavior? Wanting to hang out with someone that isn't related to the taskforce? I thought you told me I should get out more. Weren't you the one that told me I needed to take a break every once in a while? For what? So you can get after me for doing it?"

"No Light," He looks hurt, so I know my work here is done. "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you."

I let out a breath of air, making it look as if I feel bad too. "No, I'm sorry Dad. I should have never talked to you like that. You are my father and deserve my respect at all times. I am sorry for raising my voice."

We both look away, not sure what else were supposed to say, but here we stand still until he continues. "Light, you know that you are my pride and joy, right?"

I chuckle, "please dad, don't embarrass me."

He places both of his hands on my shoulders and I look up at him. His eyes are full of hope, as if looking at his most prescious treasure. It makes me feel better. As stupid as it sounds, approval from my parents has always made me feel good. It was the times they were the most proud of me that I've been the happiest.

"When you were a baby and I held you in my arms for the very first time, I knew there was something about you." he says, looking into my eyes, brushing my hair away from my forehead with his fingers. "I knew that one day you would be someone great." _You have no idea. _"And I know you will son. And I really am sorry you are spending your good years stuck in an office instead of enjoying your life-"

"No, Dad. I am doing this because I want to, because Kira needs to be stopped. So don't feel bad about it." I grip both of his arms with my hands, and give an encouraging squeeze. "You raised me right, you know?"

He gives me a hug. Two of those in a row, that's something I don't see very often, but his hug is different from Johan's.

With Johan I wasn't hiding anything, he was hugging who I really am.

My father will only hug me until it is time for him to order my execution, so I know I should cherish this moment a lot more.

**Part 5**

"What have you been telling my father?" My voice is sturdy when I ask. He may be the boss around here, but that doesn't give him the right to meddle into all of our lives. Any court could see that. So of course I should be outraged that he has been talking about me to my father behind my back. It's okay to act the part.

"Oh, hey Light. How is everything going? You're late you know-"

"I don't have a specific time to be here because I am not payed by the hour. And that isn't the real problem!"

He pouts his lips, tilts his head to the side. Every time he acts so stupid I want to go up to him and punch him in the face. "So there is a problem?" He asks.

"What have you been telling my father?" I am loud, so much that Matsuda and Aizawa rush into the room, which is good. Now they are witnesses that can tell my father how angry I was by the false accusations. All of this will look good on me in the end.

"I don't understand your question."

"He looked tired this morning so I asked him what was going on. He told me I've been seeing an older man-"

"Which you have."

"Which he wouldn't have figured out on his own because he doesn't spy on me."

Everybody turns to look at him. He lets out a sigh and turns back to his computer to avoid the glares.

"You are still spying one me." I turn to the other two, "all of you."

"You gave us permission to do what we saw fit for this investigation."

"The investigation is over. Kira is dead! What else are you spying on?" I take a very strong step towards him, my shoes hit the floor hard. "You know what I think, L? I think you need help, because you are _obsessed_ with me."

"Do you really think so?"

"You see things that aren't there, you make up things that don't exist."

"The Kira that appeared first and the Kira that we caught are two entirely different people, anybody with a brain can make that distinction. So who is the original Kira, Light? Why don't you confess that it is you?"

I shake my head, the thing I've learned to do the most in these situations. "You are crazy!"

"Answer the question."

"You are sick L." The room is quiet, no one dares to move a single muscle. Yet again this man is against me, but this time he has nothing, nothing at all. "You don't need to solve this case, what you need is a therapist. You need help."

He doesn't even look at me, doesn't look at anybody else. He sits there, face half covered in darkness by his hair. He has nothing to go on, nothing to say. He's like a dog lost in the middle of the sea, alone in the vast space, all he can do is keep kicking to try to stay a float. There is no evidence against me, understand that. You will never be able to catch me.

"If anyone here must know... if it really is my duty to have to disclose all of my personal life-" I shout to the room.

"Please Light, you don't have to-" Matsuda starts, but I raise my hand for him to zip it.

"I have a friend who I've been spending time with and whom I hold in very high regards." I keep looking at L, but he is still not looking at me. "His name is Johan, he is thirty-two years old. I like spending time with him, I didn't know that was a crime."

L finally looks up. There is fury in his eyes, he knows that I am lying out of my teeth, but he can't do a thing about it. _Prof_... I want to tell him. _Prove it to me, _but you can't do that can you? You can't do a thing!

"This Johan isn't just anybody," He says. "He is a millionaire with powerful friends in world wide companies and banks. Don't you think it's a bit odd that he would want to befriend someone _like you_ out of nowhere?"

"Someone like me?" And I can't believe he just said that. This is so perfect, he just dug his own grave. He finally let his anger get to him, and he slipped and said something so stupid. "Is it because I don't have money? Do you think that just because I come from a house that didn't have everything handed to them and has to work hard for what we have, that I am someone that a millionaire could never consider?"

"That isn't what I meant and you know it."

I won't give you a chance to correct your slip of the tongue, "Now I understand why you don't have any friends."

It's a low blow, I know. I've been lonely, and so has he. We don't fit in with the rest of the world so we seclude ourselves, we're misfits, but that doesn't mean we like it. His eyes open wide with my words, he winces as if I've just punched his stomach. He is alone, and will be alone, and will die alone, but I won't. I have someone now. I have _him. _

I walk out of there fast, no one tries to stop me.

I want to laugh out loud. L's face was priceless, but as I turn he corner my father comes into view and I have to hold everything in. _You'll laugh later, you'll laugh later. Control yourself for now. _

I didn't know he would be here, so I am a little taken a back.

"Son," His voice is soft, which kind of scares me. He still looks down, even worse than this morning. What happened now? He looks at me and smiles, but that shadow of pain is still over his face. "I was thinking maybe you could bring your friend over for dinner one of these days. I realize I've been judging you and him for no reason. If he really means so much to you, the family should get to know him."

Did L put him up to this? No, they haven't even seen each other yet. Maybe through the phone? I am not sure, but I can't really say no, can I? It will make me look like I really am hiding something. And why not? After all, having Johan around could end up being very helpful, and what better way to evade suspicion than by bringing him around my dad and my whole family itself. We really will be close friends, not having only an outside relationship like we've had until now.

"Really Dad? I can bring him?"

"Of course," he says throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Any friend of my son is a friend of mine."

"In that case, that would be great." He smiles and the shadow that was around his face seems to dissolve. I guess he was feeling bad for the way he's been behaving towards me. He loves me, after all, he _is_ my father. "I'll ask him tonight."

"Alright son."

He is my father and I am his son, and when the time comes, we will be the worst of enemies. I still don't know how I will react that day. I just hope I am never put in a position where I have to kill the man who gave me life.

**TBC...**

Next chapter Johan meets Sayu and we all know just how bad things can get. I guess next chapter is where the story really "kicks off" so stay tuned.


	4. Chapter 4

**Long break, Short story: **I don't think anybody here knows, but I am a nurse and recently I've had a change in position and I'm still trying to get used to it. Basically that's why I haven't been writing in a very long time. I am slowly getting used to this new thing and getting a lot better at time managing around it, so here is this chapter.

I wrote this in **2** days, so I know it isn't perfect and I feel like it isn't as good as other chapters I've written, but I did it with lots of care, and genuinely hoping for you guys to like it, so if you see any typos or grammar errors please let me know in an inbox and I will fix it ASAP, and if you actually do like this chapter and want me to continue this story, send me an inbox or leave a review with your thoughts, because honestly that is what keeps me going, knowing that you guys like it. So thank you so much for reading and hope to hear from you guys.

**PART 1**

"The Devil took two Demons, and placed them on different parts of the world. But when evil called, the Demons ran, to roll 'round in the dirt."

"Sayu!" Mother yells from the kitchen. "That isn't something to be reading out loud, especially when there's a visitor," she turns back to the stove and Sayu sinks a little into her seat with a pout.

"Oh I really don't mind at all," Johan says from the couch across from my sister. "Good stories are meant to be shared, and a good creepy story always makes for a fun time."

Sayu smiles and throws her back against the couch to continue reading quietly, just as Father comes down the stairs to meet Johan for the very first time. He gets up from the couch to greed him on his feet, so I do the same.

There's tension in the air. We can all feel it. Father stops by the kitchen to give Mom a kiss, as if getting strength, preparing to go to war. Johan is still, eyes straight forward as Father walks over to us, and I guess it is time for introductions.

"Dad, this is Johan. My friend. Johan this is my Dad, Soichiro Yagami."

Johan stretches out his hand, "Nice to meet you Mr. Yagami." And for a second I see it, and I think Mom sees it too because her eyes open a little. Dad really doesn't want to take his hand. And I get the feeling of spiders crawling up my legs and it's getting a little hard to breathe, but then Father reaches out his hand I'm so relieved.

"I'm glad to finally meet you," Dad says, and it doesn't sound sarcastic, but it also doesn't sound welcoming.

Johan smiles one of those smiles that makes everyone relax a little and responds, "Honestly, me too Sir. I finally get to be in the presence of the man who raised one of the smartest and kindest human beings I have ever met."

"Yes, he is such a great kid. A _kid, _because he did only just turn eighteen."

"I am aware," Johan responds as if that was something that he expected to hear, but I'm baffled. I can't believe Dad is really going there, that he would bring this up so soon. They only just met.

"I think everyone here already knows how old I am Dad,"I tell him with much annoyance.

"Why don't we all sit?" It's Mom-to-the-rescue from the kitchen. "The food is ready. Sayu! Light! Come help me with all of this."

I give Dad a look. He told me he wouldn't do this. _He_ told _me_, and he is doing it.

"Come sit, please," I tell Johan and get him to the table and away from Dad, before any more weird conversations have the opportunity to take place.

And so it is with great awkwardness that we serve everyone in complete silence, and then sit in even more silence, and when mom tells us to "dig in" there's still no change. I am shaking my head because I'm seeing that this was not a good idea at all, and I'm looking for a way to start off a conversation, but come up with nothing.

"So, Mr Liebert-" Mom is the first to try.

"Please, call me Johan," he says.

"Oh no I couldn't do that."

"But of course you can," Father chimes. "He is almost our age after all. It's not like he is a _normal_ friend of Light's."

"Dad!" But Johan stops me from saying anything else by placing his hand on my shoulder.

"They say the thirties are the best years. I guess I still have eight more to find out if that's true," Johan says with a smile, not letting any of this get to him.

"Oh my," Mother is surprised. "You don't look a day over twenty-five. Twenty-seven at the most."

"Well I'll have to send my mother a thank you card now," he responds.

Sayu giggles.

_Mother. _He's never talked to me about that.

Mom takes advantage of the moment and attempts at conversation again. She can clearly see that Dad wants no part in this, so she is going to try for him, which is what she always does. They are a couple. If one can not do it, the other one will. That's how they've always been. It's admirable really, to find someone that fills in all of your weaknesses with their virtues, and you fill all of their missing parts with yours, and you become one person instead of two. I don't know why, but I look at Johan as I think about this.

"So what do you do for a living, Mr. Liebert?" She takes a bite out of her food and looks back up at him.

"I am an investor actually. I've invested in a few banks and companies."

"Well that's interesting. Where are you from? I mean, I don't mean to intrude, but you don't look Japanese."

"Oh it isn't an intrusion at all. I was born in Prague, but I've lived in different places."

"Really? Where?"

"I lived in Germany for many years, after that I lived in Paris, Spain, I was also in Morocco for a while. It's all been very fascinating."

"And what brought you to Japan?"

My mom sounds like a freaking interrogation officer.

"Well, I've had this Foundation for a few years now for children that have been victims of..." he looks at Sayu for a second with a wondering expression, as if questioning whether he should say what he was about to say or not. "Human trafficking," he finishes.

All four of us drop the food we were bringing to our mouths and turn to look at him at the same time with questioning expressions.

"We attack these organizations, find the children, rescue them, and provide them with shelter, mental and physical health, and education until they get better."

"_Oh my._"

"We've opened a few centers world wide and I've been thinking of opening one here in Japan for a while, so I came over to get everything ready."

"Well Mr. Liebert," Father says. "That is very admirable of you."

"No it isn't, Sir." Johan shakes his head lightly. "It would be admirable if we could put an end to it, but all we can do is fight it off."

"Well that's more than most people do. Almost everyone, especially in your position with enough money and status to not have to worry about a thing would turn a blind eye, yet you are fighting the war. Don't belittle that."

_He had never told me. _He had never told _me _any of this. Is this even real?

Johan gives me a small smile, and then Dad is poring a glass of wine. "Well Mr. Liebert I don't exactly like you, you must at least guess at the reasons for this, but I propose a toast to your Foundation. For this institution to keep rescuing and helping these children who are in great need of rescuing indeed." He hands us all a glass, and we raise them as Sayu raises her juice. "Cheers, for a brighter future."

All in unison, "Cheers!"

Sayu chugs down her entire glass of juice, Father drinks half of his glass, Mother takes a sip, but Johan only raises the glass to his mouth while staring directly at me, pretends to drink from it, and sets it back down.

**PART 2**

"You never told me! You never told me any of this!"

"Light, it just never really came up."

"These aren't things that come up! You're not an idiot, you should know when to tell me things." I know I'm being rude but I don't care. He didn't tell me a lot of things, so I have the right to be mad. "I asked you why you came to Japan."

"And I told you the truth," he takes a step towards me, which I hate because the closer he is the taller he looks and I hate being shorter than people.

He reaches for me with his arm, but I push it away. "Don't touch me! Don't hide things from me, and then try to touch me."

A dark sort of silence takes over and I look up to find his face in complete sorrow. "Why are you pushing me away?" His voice cracks a little, it sounds as if he's hurting, as if he's in pain. _From that little push, really? Is he going to get like this just because I shook him off? _"I thought you said that you would allow me to be with you."

I take a few steps to my bed and sit. I need to get away from him before I do something stupid like hug him, because then he'll think he can get away with anything. The memory of the time he held me in the hotel room comes to mind and I suddenly feel this overwhelming warmth deep inside of me. I lower my voice, change my tone to a kinder one, "I said I would when I'm one hundred percent sure that you are who you say you are, but how am I supposed to trust you when you hide things from me?"

"I really didn't think you would be bothered by it so much, but I will give you copies of everything I own and everything else that I do from now on," he walks to the bed and squats down in front of me. "Just don't be mad at me," he pleads. "I really don't like it."

I smile, and he smiles too, and then we are both smiling, and I don't even remember why I was mad.

He slowly reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips, "You are my life now."

And just then, _really?_ JUST THEN, my Mother opens the door on the room I remember very well I locked.

I stand up right away. Since Johan was squatted it takes him longer. She is looking at us with a surprised expression, as if she isn't sure what she just saw, or she's fighting the idea of what she just saw. Just the same, it's pretty bad.

He was on his knees about to kiss my hand while I sat on my bed, that isn't something that "normal friends" do, and I can't just tell her that we aren't "friends" but that I'm his deity, because... Well, you know why.

"Sayu wants to know if you could help her with her homework and it's getting late," Mother asks very stiff, notably fighting the urge to yell at us both.

"I'll be right there."

"I'll be leaving then."

"I'll walk you out."

As he passes my mom at the door he gives a small bow and thanks her for the meal. She just nods in agreement, but it's obvious she wants him gone.

"I'll call you later," I tell him.

"How bad is it?" He asks.

I chuckle before closing the door, "I'll let you know."

"Light," I haven't even walked away from the door and she's already calling me. "Can I talk to you please?"

We walk back to my room and lock the door, which obviously doesn't matter because I now know they have spare keys even though they always told me they trusted me.

She sits on my bed messing with her finger nails. He feet are tapping the floor in anxiety. "Son, I understand that you are at an age where... Well it isn't out of the ordinary..." She is agitated, fighting to put the words together. "It is actually a lot more common than you would think to maybe-"

"I don't like guys if that is what you're asking."

_I've never like anyone, that's how it's always been. _

"But even if you did-" she tries again.

I give her a loud sigh, "Mom, if this is really you trying to pull me out of a closet that doesn't exists-"

"Alright, alright. Maybe you don't feel that way, but Light it is obvious that he does. It scares me son," and I can really see it, the fear in her eyes, the tears that are forming, the shakiness of her hands and the trembling of her voice.

I try to comfort her, "Mom-"

"_He _scares me Light," her face contorts in a sick form of fear, and it's so eerie a chill runs up my spine and my whole body gets goosebumps.

"Mom-"

"He scares me when he's so close to you. Make fun of me, call me crazy, but it's my motherly instinct, and since you've been a baby it has never been wrong." I give up on trying to fight it. I just let her say everything she needs to say to feel better. "People like him, with their elegance and all of their money, they don't care about people like us, Light." I look away, because I hate the way she is sounding, but she moves with me so that I still have to see her. "And I'm not saying you're worth less because I know, and you know, and everyone that knows you knows just how much you are worth. You are intelligent, kind, generous, and I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished, but people like him don't see that. They think that we are below them because of their power. I just don't want you to get hurt." Her face turns red and she starts doing that thing she does with her nose when she's trying to fight back tears. "You are so young and you're such a good kid. I don't want anyone to come and snatch you away just to hurt you..."

And that's as long as she could hold it in. Her hand goes to her mouth as tears fall down her face, and I have to hug her because that's what my brain is programmed to do.

"Those people don't take us serious Light. He'll just be here while you entertain him and then he'll find someone else. Someone younger or whatever it is that he is looking for."

"Mom, he isn't like that!" I am almost pleading, because I don't like seeing her cry but I can't tell her the truth. "Do you really think that I am that stupid that I would let someone like that close to me? That I would bring someone _like that_ around my family? No, Mom! I know it sounds weird, and I know it looks bad, but he is different. He is a good person, and I'm sure if you got to know him a little more you would see it too."

She thinks about it, gives me that look that says "I am not buying it" but I guess she changes her mind because she ultimately nods. "Bring him over more often. I want to get to know him."

I smile but then my smile goes away, "Are you going to tell Dad about what you saw earlier?" She swallows hard. I know her intention was to go tell him immediately. "If you tell him he will never give him a chance, you know that."

"I don't believe he is a good person, but I want to get to know him because I want to be wrong. Because I know he is important to you, and honestly, I am glad you finally have someone that you're close to." _Ouch, that kind of hurt. _She takes a moment, "And because I rather you see him here- at the house- than anywhere else, but you know I don't like him."

That's it, I'm doomed.

"I won't tell him, Light. _This time_ I won't tell him. I'm doing this for you, so please just promise me you will be careful."

I kiss her forehead, "Of course Mom. You know I always am."

She kisses me back and a small smile forms on her lips. "I love you."

And I say something I hadn't said in a very long time, "I love you more."

**PART 3**

**(5 MONTHS LATER)**

Finally I am out of class! I get to go home, and it's Friday so the new episode of my show airs. I only have a few hours of homework, and tomorrow school is only half a day so ahhh... It feels good to get some rest.

"Hey, Sayu!" I recognize the voice so I turn around, and it's my brother's best friend.

"Hey Johan!" I wave from across the street and wait for him to walk over.

"Who's that?" One of my friends asks.

"Oh, he's my brother's best friend." I answer with pride.

"Are you going to wait for him?" She asks looking over at him.

"Yeah, you can go on ahead. I'll catch up later."

"Alright then, see ya! But don't take too long."

I wait standing in the side walk until the light finally turns green and he can walk over.

"Hey!" He says.

"Hey!" I answer back with a giggle.

"Going home?"

"Yeah, just got out of school."

"Really? Then maybe I can walk with you. I was going to see your brother anyways."

"But right now he isn't home. He always stays at work until late, doesn't even pick me up from school anymore. He hasn't done it in a loooonnnnggg time." I lower my eyes so he won't see the sadness I feel, and then feel stupid for even bringing it up.

So he's busy. I'm already big, I don't need him to pick me up from school. I'm not a baby anymore.

"He told me he would be back early today."

"Really? Well then let's go!" I invite excited.

"Let me just call your mother to see if she's okay with this."

"Okay then, I'll wait," I say, my hands tightening around the straps of my backpack in anticipation.

He takes out his phone and dials, seconds later she picks up.

"Yes, Mrs. Yagami? This is Johan. I'm here with Sayu, I bumped into her on my way to your house to see Light." He looks at me and smiles, "I was just wondering if it was okay with you for us to walk over there together."

"Come on mom, say yes!" I yell so she can hear me.

Then he gives me the phone, "She wants to talk to you."

"Sayu, where are you?" Is the first thing she asks.

"Ummm... In front of the school. I just got out."

"And you two just bumped into each other?"

"Yes, he's going over to visit Light. Hey Mom, can we go together, please? I promise we won't stop anywhere, we'll go straight home."

"Sayu..."

"Please?!"

I hear her take a deep breath. "Look Sayu, I want you straight home. You have ten minutes to get here."

"Yeayyyy! Okay Mommy, I love you."

"I love you too, but please be careful. Don't go anywhere else. If he tries to take you somewhere else, scream okay. _Scream_. Do you hear me?"

"Why would he want to do that?" Johan looks confused. He must have no idea what we're talking about.

"Just do what I say."

I am confused too, but let it go for the sake of actually getting permission. "Okay Mommy, I promise."

"Okay, get home safe honey. I'll be waiting outside," and I hang up the phone and hand it back to Johan.

"What did she say?" he asks.

"She said yes."

"Well then, let's get going."

He asks me for my backpack and throws it over his shoulder. It looks as if he's my brother too, and I can't help but be super happy.

"So how was your day?" He asks.

"It was really interesting, did you know that plans breathe what we exhale?"

"Yes. Fascinating isn't it?"

"Yes, and during lunch I got to sit with my best friend which almost never happens because our teachers are so strict. Did you have strict teachers when you were in school Johan?"

"Of course I did," he says. "But it all worked out for the better because here I am now, walking the world's best little sister to her house."

I laugh out loud, "Light is so lucky to have you as a friend. When I grow up, can I be your friend too?"

"Sayu you don't have to grow up for us to be friends, we can be friends now."

"Really? You don't think I'm too small? Or annoying or something?"

He frowns his eyebrows, "Why would you say that?"

"It's because sometimes I feel like I am..."

He pats my head with his hand and I get this warm feeling in my chest, "never say that again. You are a very kind and smart young lady. I would be very lucky to be your friend."

I give him the biggest smile. "Well then," I stretch out my hand. "Friends?"

He shakes it, "Friends."

**PART 4**

I open the door expecting the same routine, but I am caught off guard when I see Johan with Sayu in the living room table.

"Hey," he smiles.

"Light!" Suyu almost yells with excitement. "Johan walked me home and is helping me with my homework."

I give him a look, and notice Mom giving us both a look from the kitchen.

"I ran into her on the street. I asked for permission to walk her back, and I was waiting for you, so I'm helping her a bit. Sorry, didn't mean to take away your older-brother role." I roll my eyes. "Hopefully I'm doing it right, if not it will be so embarrassing."

Sayu laughs, but I know he says that just for show. He is way too smart. Sometimes his brain is the thing I hate the most. It scares me a little to know he can really think for himself. Not a lot of people can, and he just had to be one of the few. It's annoying, but then again, it's also the thing I like the most.

"Well we're going up now, so you'll have to fend for yourself," I tell my sister while greeting Mom, and then signaling for Johan to follow me up the stairs.

"Thanks Johan!" Sayu exclaims as we walk away. "Or should I say, thank you big brother!"

Mom almost drops the dishes she is drying, and Johan and I share a look and hold back a laugh.

He's wearing all black, which can only mean he's got the job done. When I order him to do something, he wears black after he's done it. It's like a special code, a message without words that we've developed. It's one of those things that sort of happened and now it's here, so we use it.

Once we're inside my room I am ready to confirm it, "So is it done?"

"Yes. The name of the man he was going to use is Caleb Williams. He'll be killed tonight before L even gets a chance to confirm the deal."

"Are you sure?" It's not that I don't trust him because he's done well in earning my trust, but in this game there is no room for mistakes, especially when we're in this deep, so I need to be sure that everything goes the way I plan.

"Yes, one hundred percent sure. The money I gave them will be enough for people like that to kill their own mother. You don't have to worry, the job is done."

I stand still while he goes around me to take off my blazer. It's something I got used to. He did it one day and I let him, so he did it the next day, and the next, and the day after that. Now it's already a routine for him to help me with things like this.

I sit on the bed so he can get my shoes after.

"It's messed up isn't it," I tell him with a low voice. It does sadden me, but more than anything it pisses me off. "That even in the largest corporations that are meant to do good, people can still be bought with money."

He unties my left shoe and takes it off, then removes my sock as he speaks, "It is utterly disgusting, but that's why you're here isn't it? To fix all of this." _He is right. _He looks up at me straight in the eyes, "_you_ can fix this." Then unties my right shoe.

"Do you think L will try to test the notebook on someone else when he finds out this one got killed?"

"Well if he does we'll kill the next one too, and the one after that, and the one after that. They're all criminals anyways."

"How do you do it?" I ask with so much curiosity, it must be vivid on my face. "How do you know so many people?"

"Some are from work, others are just trying to get to know me so I can help their businesses in some way. Others are one's that owe me favors... When you're my age and you do what I've done, you just know people." He gets up and starts at my shirt. Pulling it from my waist to un-tuck it from my pants.

"But you always seem to know all the _right _people," I poke at him. Sometimes I do this for fun, try to find something that I don't know for personal entertainment even though he kept his word and gave me all of the information about his businesses and everything else he works with.

He smiles and tugs at the shirt so hard he makes me jump a little, "And aren't you glad about that." I look at him now standing in front of me. His eyes fixed in the collar of my shirt as he unties my tie and slowly pulls it off. "You are way too young to be wearing all of this. Leave this rubbish for us old people."

I look at him, and look at him, and look at him, and the more I look at him the more he looks like an angel from a painting, and that is exactly what he is. He is My Angel, My Knight, the one that will unsheathe his sword and fight for me. Or so is what he says and he hasn't given me a reason to doubt him just yet.

He starts at the top button of my shirt and unbuttons, his fingertips are cold against my skin and still make some parts of my body shiver. Which I've hoped again and again that he doesn't notice. He goes to the next button, and the next, and by the time he pulls the shirt off he has a smile on his face.

"She got you good again," he says pocking at the hickeys on my chest and I understand why he's laughing now.

I scoff, "I'm just glad that when she goes a little crazy she finishes a lot faster and I get to come home."

I look towards the window and he doesn't move, doesn't say anything, just stares at me in silence for a while. I know he is going to ask something, I just wonder what it is.

"Do you like it? Being touched by her, I mean?"

"Well at least she knows what she's doing," I answer without giving it much thought.

"Do you like it?" He asks again. "Does it make your body hot? Do you close your eyes to enjoy it?"

I look at him with frowned brows. That isn't something I want to talk to him or to anyone about. What kind of question-

"If she left you would you miss her? Would you think about her when you're with someone else?"

There's a hint of darkness growing on his face. That shadow I've seen before. That thing that I know lives inside of him, the one I noticed for the first time in that abandoned building when he told me the truth. That part of him I know basically nothing about, and a part of me is scared, but another bigger part of me wants to keep that shadow there so I can study it, so I can get to know it, so I answer it's questions.

"No."

"What about me?" The shadow asks. "Would you miss me if I left you? Would you think about me when you're with someone else... When you're with L perhaps?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"When you talk about him there's this glow on your face. Does your face glow like that when you talk about me, I wonder?"

I am trying to come up with an answer but I don't have to, because suddenly one of his hands is covering my eyes, and he is pushing me down on the bed. I fall on my back and even though this situation is weird, I do nothing to try to stop it.

I wonder why...

He lays next to me, his hand still covering my eyes, his voice whispering in my ear. "You look tired, you should rest."

A part of me is uneasy, throwing things at me like, "this is weird" "this doesn't feel right." But another part thinks "this is normal. This is _him_. He knows everything about you, so what's so weird about this?"

He finally moves his hand away and I open my eyes to see him leaning over me, his face so close to mine if I move at all, I'll bump into him. I can smell him, that fine cologne he wears on Friday nights, a sweet smell of mint coming from his mouth and right behind that a faint smell of afternoon coffee.

"Do you care about them more than you care about me?" He asks.

_No! _My mind answers, as if that shouldn't even be allowed to become a question. But way in the very back there is a whisper, _L_ it says... And I see L on his computer, our hands cuffed together. I remember that time he hugged me at night because he claimed he was cold. Having to pass him a towel so many times after his shower because he is an idiot and always forgot it. I remember so many morning coffees. I remember some of his lame jokes, like that time he told me instead of drinking soft soda, I should drink soft-soda-light, and he just looked at me with wide eyes waiting for me to burst out laughing, but I wouldn't do it because I couldn't allow him to win, yet my lips were starting to hurt from biting on them from the inside so they wouldn't betray me.

_No!_ I tell myself. Tell him _No way!_

As he breathes his breath touches my nose, and I know mine is touching his chin. I try no to breath so heavy, and that's when I notice that I've been breathing heavy this whole time. And now that I noticed that, I notice all the other things, like the racing speed of my heart and the burning fire on my face.

He just smiles, and I can vividly see the shadow that had taken over him leave his face, and he slowly returns to normal, just like he's done before.

He lays down on his back next to me and pulls me into his arms, "Go to sleep Light, I'll take care of you. When you wake up Mr. Williams will be dead. You'll find out all about it tomorrow when you go to work. But for now we are in your room, we are tired, we are sleepy, we are together, and we are going to rest."

I _am_ tired, but I'm also shirtless and the locked door can be unlocked at any minute, but for some reason none of that matter at all. He's here with me and for that reason alone I know everything is going to be okay.

He's my friend.

My only friend.

_L._

I don't want to think about him.

I don't want to remember that liar as I am with the one that tells me the truth. I don't want to remember the one that torments me as I am next to the one that accepts me the most!

**PART 5**

"L."

The computer lights up, and I push the button to pick up Watari's call with the tip of my toes since my hands are busy, "Speak to me."

"Caleb Williams is dead." The news hits me like cold water and suddenly I'm not even in the mood for the frozen lollipops I had stolen from Matsuda's mini fridge earlier. "He was found with a bullet hole to the back of his head no more than ten minutes ago."

I hang up without a word. And is it just me or is the room getting dark?... My eye sight is blurry, my ears are ringing, my fists are clenching on their own, and THATS ENOUGH! _It's enough!_

I throw everything off of my desk with both hands anxious to break something, to hit something, to wrap my hands around hisneck!

_LIGHT!_

I pull out my phone and dial his number. _Pick up... Pick up you..._

"Hello?" But it isn't him, and my blood is boiling so I am not in the mood for little games.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you not to play with other children's toys? Give the phone to Light."

"Ummm... And who is this?"

"Give him the phone," I am so angry it is poring out in my voice.

"Oh, you're his boss right? He has you under Ryuzaki. I apologize but he is asleep right now, so I'll have him call you-"

_WHAT! _"Then wake him up!" I almost shout.

He actually laughs. The bastard laughs! "He just got home from work, he is tired. I am not going to do that."

I take a deep breath, like hell they didn't have anything to do with this. "You listen to me Johan and you listen to me well, and I say Johan very lightly because right now I am under the very big impression that even your name is fake. I am on to you. When I am done with you, you are going to rot in a jail cell, and Light is going to die by the lethal injection. I know what you both are doing, and all I need is one piece of evidence, just one piece! So don't slip because I will be there to kick you when you're down."

"Look, I have no idea what you're talking about-"

"Who is it?" I hear Light's voice very faintly in the background.

"It's your boss."

There's a small ruckus and then Light is on the phone. "What is it?" He asks, his young and small voice almost sounding innocent.

"Light..." I am losing. I am losing _him_. That man is deep inside his head and he is slipping further and further away from me. I am losing the fight, the grip I had on him, and if I don't do something quick, I am going to lose the last bit I have left. "Light," I try with a calmer voice. "What are you doing sleeping with that man?"

"What?!" And for a moment I feel I have him back. It's the exact same reaction he would give me when we would spent all our days and nights together, and I would say either something very outrageous or very stupid. "No, no. It isn't like that. I just fell asleep."

"Come to the office."

"Why?"

I want to tell him, _you know why. Because you killed Caleb Williams and I want to see how you react. See if you have a slip or a trip or anything that could give me anything against you. _But instead I tell him, "because there's no one in this entire building that could help me right now." And then I try to sound very serious, "I need you."

There's silence, but soon he answers, "Alright," and maybe he believes me because his voice changes, or maybe this is his part of the game and he is acting just like I am, but either way I am happy. It feels like a victory, no matter how tiny it is.

I have to pull him back to me, get him back to my side and away from Him.

If I can't do that, I might as well lay down and hand them a knife to slit my throat because I am as good as dead.

**TBC...**


End file.
